We have all worked with people who lack boundaries. Early in my career, I worked in an office with a man who would barge into conversations and ask inappropriate, prying questions. Also in the office was a woman from New Jersey who had a singular way of dealing with him.
"Shut up, you jerk!" she would say.
While a surprisingly effective deterrent, it's not one I would recommend. So how do you deal with inappropriate questions either in your workplace or in social situations and still promote civility? There are a few ways:
1) Be shocked. "I am surprised you would ask me a question like that."
2) Be tactful. Show no emotion and say, "That's not an appropriate question." Or "Let's keep this professional."
3) Be coy. Smile and say, "That's not for you to know."
You can't control other people's rude behavior, but you can control how you react to it. On the inside, you decide. As a wise CEO once told me, "Try not to let them make their problems, your problems."
The Etiquette Tip of the Week may be forwarded to others who really, really need it, pinned to billboards, taped to the water cooler, blogged, Tweeted or used to fill that last little hole in your newsletter. Giving credit to the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com/ is the polite thing to do.