• Overemphasizing “should” statements. “Should” statements are often a reflection of others’ expectations rather than a person’s own wants and needs. “Everyone should know what they want to do after college. I don’t, so there is something wrong with me.”
Parents can help students improve their self-confidence by encouraging them to:
• Emphasize their strengths. Encourage students to give themselves credit for everything they try. When they expect perfection, help them realize they can’t do everything perfectly and it’s only possible to try to do things, and try to do them well. This allows them to accept themselves while still striving to improve.
• Take risks. Encourage students to think of new experiences as opportunities to learn instead of opportunities to fail. Not doing so turns every possibility into an opportunity for failure and inhibits personal growth.
• Self-evaluate. Encourage students to evaluate themselves independently, not rely on the opinions or expectations of others. Focusing internally on how they feel about themselves will give them a stronger sense of self and help them avoid giving their personal power away to others.
Source: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Self-Confidence [Brochure].